Posts Tagged With: #Healing

Four Levites, Four Hours, and Redemption

Four Levites, Four Hours, and Redemption 

Looking over the chapter listings in the Table of Contents in my upcoming book to be published, I thought to myself there needs to be another chapter. Needless to say, I didn’t realize Hashem would create hashgacha pratit (Divine Providence) in the near future until the spring of June 2019. What I am about to share is very true, raw, and incredible.

My beloved family (myself included) had no idea our path ahead was the entrance into a battlefield; facing death in a blink of an eye. The day after an amazing family dinner gathering in our home, Hashem sent forth a trail that would rock us to our core; trusting Hashem with everything a man has within. Our lesson would teach us gam zu’ l’tovahthis too is for the best.

We (my husband, son, daughter, and I) endured a very difficult tribulation that affected us physically; penetrating every emotion (thrown in all directions), thought process, measure of the heart, life, breath, love, fear, discouragement, pain, injuries, humbleness, gratefulness, compassion, endurance, and forgiveness. This placed us at the door of death and life.

Who is the key holder?

I will place the keys of David’s palace on his shoulders; and what he unlocks none may shut, and what he locks none may open.” (Isaiah/ Yeshayah 22:22)[1]

“In token of abundant authority And of peace without limit Upon David’s throne and kingdom, That it may be firmly established In justice and in equity Now and evermore. The zeal of the LORD of Hosts Shall bring this to pass.” (Isaiah/ Yeshayah 9:6)[2]

The story begins:

My sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew arrived from California for a mini vacation, with plans to fly home. They joined us for dinner, along with my lovely and amazing Mom. The table was beautifully set; the food was amazing, sharing delicious Jewish dishes. They had brought up our SUV. A friend of theirs had given it to us. They have a soft heart for children with special needs, and with their loving generosity, they gifted it to us. They said it was a “tank” and that we would love it. My brother-in-law, who is an awesome mechanic, did some repairs before the arrival.

After dinner, they left our beautiful truck [the best vehicle we’ve ever owned our entire lives!]; returning to my Mom’s home in her car. The following day, we got the truck registered, put on new license plates and set off on a wonderful scenic drive to a bird sanctuary for a peaceful family drive.

Returning home, my husband was driving, our kids were in bucket seats, and I had dozed off. I was awakened to my husband yelling, a sudden change in motion of the brakes, and an extremely hard hit by a truck slamming into my side. We were T-boned! A speeding (angry) driver failed to yield the stop sign. On impact, we were instantly airborne which rolled us over to the driver’s side. At the point of rolling, skidding on its side, hearing the crunching of metal, and seeing the severely broken and cracked windshield around the sides of the airbags, I began screaming, “G-d please help us, G-d please help us!”

My husband held on to the steering wheel with both hands; keeping his arm from amputation from the opened window while the truck was skidding on the driver’s side along the road, down an embankment, into a field! Our truck flipped back up, landing on its tires.  By all rights of gravity, the truck should have rolled more; however, something “Mighty” stopped the truck. Our truck flipped back up on its tires where it rested. My daughter called out for “G-d” about the same time I did. She said she saw a bright light (covering/shield) around us when the truck suddenly came back up on its tires and rested– hashgacha pratit!

When the truck stopped, steam from the heating cord (radiator) was coming in at me. The mixture of steam, the smell of the “firecracker elements” (airbags deployed at 135 mph), and with the dust from the gravel sediments, I thought the engine was going to ignite. I went into hysterics; trying to open my side of the door to help my children! People came running into the field to help us [my husband told them to get me out of the truck]. Someone, obviously, called 911 as soon as we were hit (7:26 pm recorded time). The Firetruck, Ambulance, and Police arrived within minutes. Two people helped get our son out of the truck. One of those helpers was the man who hit us. Additional care was taken for our son as he has Cerebral Palsy, shunts for hydrocephalus, and he’s nonverbal with additional disabilities.

The passenger doors were smashed in so extensively that the inside door handles were completely broken, hanging by its wires. The doors on the passenger’s side were smashed in eighteen inches and partially ripped from its hinges. There was so much damage! Our Limited Sequoia was totaled, as well as the other driver’s truck. We are very grateful that the original owners had added more airbags (wrap-around curtain), customized bucket seats, and more; creating additional impact protection!

The Fire Department covered a very large area on the street with cat litter because of the excess oil and other fluids that spilled from both trucks. Someone found our daughter’s eyeglasses in the street, ruined. Our son’s eyeglasses were located in the field. The other driver’s hood on his truck looked like an accordion, crushed to the windshield. A policeman told me that the street looked like a “Garage Sale.”

I want to add an interesting moment that took place. A woman approached me, smiled and told me it was good news that my necklace was still intact. My necklace has the Star of David, and the Shema (Deuteronomy 6: 4-9).

It reads: “שְׁמַע יִשְׂרָאֵל יְהוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ יְהוָה אֶחָֽד”

Hear O’ Israel, the Lord is our G-d, the Lord is One. (The Shema is a beautiful Jewish prayer that is recited twice daily. The Shema was also prayed on Mount Sinai upon when the Jews, and mixed multitude received the giving of the Torah and were sealed into Hashem’s covenant).

We were treated on the scene and released. But not before Hashem opened a door for me to share with the good citizens, policemen, firefighters, EMT’s, and the other driver that the mercy (rachamim) of G-d protected us all. There should have been fatalities, yet we all walked away from two totaled trucks. G-d’s Hand was upon us. While sharing how G-d protected us, I pointed at our truck and shared about the loving people who gifted us, even though it’s totaled, we were protected. I further said that life is precious and it can’t be replaced. Hashem found favor (Chen) in us—B”H!

I don’t recall anyone responding back, but I do remember one EMT gentleman continually watched and listened. I also shared with the other driver that I had forgiven him and I would be praying for his situation. He stopped in his footsteps, looked at me, and in a somber voice he thanked me. He is a young man of twenty-five years of age who didn’t heed the “stop sign.” I pray Hashem opened a doorway of divine healing for him; bursting forth a new outlook in life, being refreshed in Hashem’s Light!

My brother-in-law came to get us at the accident scene and safely got us home. Arriving home in the driveway, I broke down crying. I told my brother-in-law how scared I was; expressing my sadness for what happened to the truck that was gifted, the hard work, love given, and time it took to get it to us (one thousand miles apart). But the bottom line is: Life is precious, it can’t be replaced! The love of others and the hand of G-d saved our lives!

Hashem saved us with the gift of life (Chai); giving everyone a second chance to determine our direction in life and choices. Will we stay in the “Fastlane” seeking worldly desires that offers emptiness, deceitfulness, masquerades, and dead ends? Will we use the time Hashem has given us wisely that is pleasing to Hashem?  Do we love Hashem enough to walk, speak, breathe life of Hashem’s goodness, and study Torah teachings, daven (prayers) with blessings daily? If not, why? Ha’satan’s (Satan’s) greatest weapon is man’s ignorance of G-d’s Davar/word.

We need to have complete Teshuvah (repentance, returning to Hashem) with a change of heart, a desire to be in Hashem’s covenant; living in obedience to Hashem’s word. We are given “Stop Signs” in life. We are to have wisdom and discernment to heed before entering our next path. Let’s be like a Jacob (one who studies Torah), not an Esau (running wild, untamed).

Let’s continue the story: 

Thankfully, everyone was responsible to have worn seat belts. As the night progressed, the aches and pains set in. The next day, my sister and brother-in-law took the four of us to Urgent Care for evaluations and X-rays. We suffered from severe bruising, swelling, contusions, abrasions, seat belt trauma, and pain. Additionally, our son sustained a fractured knuckle and I had a severe concussion. By the second day after the rollover accident, I was experiencing loss of balance, impaired cognitive skills, extremely light sensitivity [covering my eyes inside my home while talking to others], and some confusion. We also were having nightmares from the accident.

My husband and sister took me to the Emergency Room. CT scans and more tests were run. It was confirmed that I was to be on complete concussion protocol. Our children and I followed up with additional medical care for months.

Hashem will continue to heal our Souls, mend our hurting hearts, and restore us physically and spiritually during our journey in the Wilderness.

Why so downcast, my soul, why disquieted within me? Have hope in G-d; I will yet praise Him, my ever-present help, my G-d.” (Psalms/ Tehillim 42:12)[3]

Hashem answered our pleas for help with Hashem’s Chesed and an out-stretched Arm. Hashem’s blessings and chen came from those who ran down the embankment to help us, strangers who offered a soft blanket to sit on [to not have to sit in the weeds, gravel and dirt], and my dear family (sister, brother-in-law, niece & nephew) who stayed with us; offering love, help, prayers, and support! Hashem sends the people who will respond (Mitzvoth).

Baruch Hashem (Blessed is G-d) to have received assistance with our care, as well as concerned phone calls, texts, prayers, visits, rides to medical appointments, meals, groceries, medical supplies, light house cleaning, yard work, and more good deeds for three weeks! Love poured out with Hashem’s help. Baruch Hashem for He is Good and Faithful. His Chesed was sent to us in many ways! His kindness endures forever!

Let’s take this to a deeper level of understanding while looking at some connections. I don’t know the ultimate reason why this event happened, but names, times, dates, and numbers have a significant purpose and a function.

  • Sequoia: Sequoia trees are also known as “Sequoiadendron giganteum.” They are the largest trees on Earth, and endangered. These fantastic trees of awe can live over two thousand years, and reach enormous heights topping three hundred and fifty feet high. Standing next to a giant magnificent Sequoia tree, we as human beings are very small in size. We are but a speck in comparison. How does this resemble the Jewish people? “‘A Sequoia’s roots “are so shallow that it can hardly stand up to a strong breeze” says Rabbi Dannel Schwartz.  So how is it that this extraordinary species is able to grow so large and live so long?  The answer is simple – the trees spring up in groves and their roots intertwine.  Or as Rabbi Schwartz says “they hold each other up – they give each other the strength necessary to withstand the angriest winds.[…] As Frankl himself said “the more one forgets himself – by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love – the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself.’”[4]

 

Doesn’t this resemble the life story of the Jewish people? Our lifelong generations continue to overcome with unity. Have we not held up one another, like a tree, for over thousands years through the harshest of storms, and through winds of terror during the evilest of times? And here we are! There is strength in numbers. We need to stand together in unity, like roots, take hold of each other, not divided. When we come together, we can block out the “angriest winds.” Hashem’s Light is Life.

 

  • Date: June 17, Jewish calendar of Sivan 14. Sivan was covered in “In Flight for Life” chapter. Fourteen is a multiple seven, which means a “Double measure.” The Hebrew letter of fourteen is Nun. Nun means “fish” and “Life.” Hashem gives us life. Fish are also connected to Day Five of Creation–taking the Torah out to the Nations, rapidly.
  • David’s name has a gematria value of 14 (dalet, vav, dalet).
  • Time: The time of the accident was given at 7:267-26: The gematria of seven means completeness, stability, wholeness, ripeness. The Sabbath was sanctified by G-d on the seventh day of Creation. Day Seven of Creation is Holy (Shabbat/Shabbos/Sabbath). There are six days of labor, and the seventh is complete, to rest. The gematria of seven is Zayin, which means sword, to arm. Completion. “26”: G-d’s four-lettered sacred name that means: “The One Who is, Who was, and Who will be” which is Hashem’s Divine Name in the Torah. The true pronunciation of Hashem’s Name remains “hidden” in plain sight. We are to call out in the Name of Hashem, our G-d, for He is our Father in the Highest Heaven. Man had to wait twenty-six generations before receiving the Torah at Mount Sinai through Moses (Moshe). “The very act of serving G-d is the vehicle to reveal G-d.[5] Our existence isn’t for self-glorification, but to glorify G-d. When we truly live our life in Torah, “And all the peoples of the earth shall see that the LORD’s name is proclaimed over you, and they shall stand in fear of you.”[6]
  • The truck rested on four tires. Creation Day Four is to have authority to Govern, to have “Rulership.” The sun, moon, and stars were created on Day Four. The sun, moon, and stars are the natural light that separates the darkness. There are also Four Rivers of Eden. We are to wear tzit-tziyot (Tzit-tzits) on all four corners of our garments.

 

  • There were four Levites on board. The Levites only had the Limited Sequoia in their names for four hours.

 

  • The license plates given had the number of 713. “7” was already covered above. “13”: A powerful meaning in the Hebrew gematriot value that means “Love” and “Oneness.” It’s the connection that binds the eternal love of G-d and Israel in “Covenant” as Hashem’s “Set Apart” people (those who are Torah Observant and living Torah). The Jew and those who are in covenant with Hashem recognize that G-d is the Creator, and center of the Universe. When G-d revealed to Moses His 13 Attributes of Mercy, it was the most powerful expression of love, compassion G-d had given to His people: Love, Compassion, Covenant, and Eternity.

 

  • The Rose has thirteen petals: Zohar 1:1a teaches that: It is written, as a rose among the thorns …the rose is the Assembly of Israel. Because there is a rose and there is a rose, just as a rose among thorns is tinged with red and white, the Assembly of Israel consists of judgment and mercy. Just as a rose has thirteen petals, the Assembly of Israel is surrounded on all sides by the thirteen attributes. Hashem will safeguard her. And like Israel, and the Thirteen Attributes of G-d’s Mercy, He safeguarded us too.
  • Shir HaShirim (Song of Songs) G-d speaks His unremitting love of Israel: “I am for My Beloved, and My Beloved is for Me.” The acronym Elul (the sixth on the Jewish calendar which means “to search.”) means “Ani l’ dodi lil.”

It’s interesting to note that the Shechinah resided in their midst of the Mishkan. The Mishkan was a symbol that Hashem had forgiven the Israelites from the sin of the Golden Calf. Along the Camp of the Twelve Tribes of Israel, in the center (of their camps) was the G-d’s Presence (13th Spiritual center).

Highlights:

  • G-d remembered four Levites in an exiled land. His eye (Ayin) was upon us. His Light “Covering and Shield” protected us. The increased light (our daughter saw a bright light) was a shield and a “double measure.” I do believe my cry out to G-d, like a shofar, rushed mightily through the Heavenly Gates, into our Father’s Divine Throne room and fell upon Hashem’s feet for rachamim.
  • When I desperately cried out to G-d, “G-d please help us, G-d please help us!” I was recently reminded when Miriam was given leprosy for speaking Lashon Hara against Moshe, and his wife, Moshe cried out to Hashem to please heal her, please!” The Father, at the request of Moshe saying “please” twice granted Moshe’s plea. Perhaps my plea was granted by asking with “please” twice? A very profound thought, indeed! But then again, Hashem is Mighty and will answer our pleas. Hashem’s ways are higher.

The surrounded light brought Hashem’s “Set Apart” people to a “Rest.” The sword is mighty of G-d. The Tzitzits are attached to the four corners (remember His commandments) of our garments, and the Four Rivers of Eden pour out from the Throne of Heaven where G-d reigns.

  • The Shechinah (His Presence) is the center of the Universe. Jerusalem is the center of the Earth. One day, we will return home in Jerusalem. Israel is the “Apple of His Eye.”

 

  • “Love” and “Oneness” is the connection that binds the eternal love of G-d and Israel in “Covenant” as His “Set Apart” people. His Thirteen Attributes demonstrate Hashem’s rachamim and compassion. G-d answered our plea, and He stopped the truck from rolling more by reversing the direction of the truck, against gravity, to a “rest.”
  • The G-d of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob (Israel) is my Beloved, and I am His Beloved.

 

Bringing it together

Earlier, I mentioned in this story that the other driver was mad while speeding. Yes, he was very angry about a life situation he was dealing with. The driver made known that his actions were not an excuse for failing to stop at the stop sign. He admitted to his wrongdoing. I cannot fathom the thought of losing any of my family, or my children being left without their mom or dad, or any of us witnessing the death of the other driver. As you have read prior regarding my son born extremely early, and the hardships he endured, I am extremely grateful his life didn’t end in the rollover accident.

The severity of the impact from both vehicles should have left fatalities! It’s tragic to think how many angry drivers are on the roads and can end up killing lives needlessly. Sadly, death impacts others deeply who have to go on in this life without them. I am so thankful that every one of us was able to walk away. B”H!

It’s important to remember when we leave our Nefesh (flesh/Soul) unchecked by not allowing our spirit within to lead, we can become overheated, like Esau (red and hairy); running wild in the field. When there’s no accountability for our behavior, our “Esaus” lead, and we conform to a beast rather than a “Jacob.” Jacob was a man who studied the Torah in a tent (covering). Do we want to be under Hashem’s covering, shielded and protected?

Hashem loves and desires to protect us. Before the accident, a dear friend of mine, Landra, who has the gift of visions when praying for others shared something she saw while praying for me. I contacted her two days before the accident; asking if there were any changes. She said there had. In the vision, I was standing, worn out and tired with long brown hair and bangs. My body was weak with my hands at my side. I didn’t move, but stared at her (Landra). Beneath me, a daisy flower grew and encircled me. As I stood wearing a long white tunic (down to my feet), the daisy encircled me. I was entwined. The leaves and branches held me when I sat upon the leaves and its supporting stem. I was securely (protected). In front of me, there was a thin ravine, a parting of the ground. It was hardly noticeable. It didn’t concern me. The important part of this vision is that in my weakness I was supported, shielded and protected. She was able to see that I was fully at peace and I wasn’t surprised by any of it.

Was this vision a warning? Was the ravine a separation in the ground during the rollover, skidding from the road, down the embankment into a field (ravine)? Was the stem that entwined a way to alert me that I am held, yet in my weakness, I am supported and protected?

Seven days after the accident the vision changed, slightly. I was no longer held by the daisy. There was no longer a ravine (ground separation); but instead, I was lying down on my right side on top of brown soil. My hands are under my head, sleeping peacefully. The daisy bowed over to protect and shield me by its flower petals (twenty petals, Hebrew meaning of redemption, kaph opened palm; freely giving) and leaves (five leaves, Hebrew meaning of Salvation: I will raise the cup of salvation, Spirit of Power/Gvurah). The covering is pure; protecting me from harshness or storms. I am truly at peace as it’s a resting time that G-d Himself is assuring. Recently, the vision changed somewhat. Hashem has placed me on a new quest– adventurous journey! After jumping over a division of land, I am standing at an alter, holding a stone (river rock) in the palm of my hand. We are called to G-d’s Divine Rulership, to keep and guard the Torah. Hashem is our Rock of Salvation, fortress, and deliver (Psalms/ Tehillim 18:2). Hashem is our high place of refuge (misgav).

I am learning the importance of giving myself time to heal from my concussion. Through a recent session for PTSD, I learned that I can go through the accident step by step to look for the positives by removing the scary negatives (images) that steal my joy. I can talk about the accident; knowing that everyone is safe. Death itself cannot separate me from the love of G-d.

In my PTSD session, it was very helpful to have a different perspective on how to heal; giving myself patience and  reminding myself I can get through this. Stepping back in time, I can imagine a second “June Pamela.”  What would I say to her (stepping back in time) after the accident? Imagine that she hasn’t walked in my recent footsteps yet. She’s shocked and doesn’t know what to expect next. How can I be a good “sister” to her? What can I offer? How will I encourage her? Will she feel loved, safe, and helped with compassion and understanding? Will anyone cover her in prayer? Will anyone daven for her? Will she feel protected and shielded? Can I bless her with what I know now? In other words, will I be patient with myself and see the amazing Attributes of Hashem, His strength, and power to heal me? Yes! Positive words heal.

Rebbe Lubavitcher elegantly addressed his response to a tragedy regarding healing. He states, “I was placed in this unfathomably challenging situation for a purpose and I’ve been given the strength to overcome it.” G-d gives us the strength needed so that we can be overcomers with Hashem’s help. We are given a journey that takes us into the Wilderness. It’s a time of hardship, uneven ground, stumbling rocks, dryness, uncertainties, challenges, sadness, and tragedies.

During this time, we are stripped of our self-seeking ways. We learn to rely on G-d for our provisions. This is our journey; a path that allows us the choice to follow Hashem’s Way, to trust, and believe that G-d is our Protector and Shield.

Time has been given so that we can come to Hashem; seeking Teshuva (repentance by returning to our Father) which is finding Life in Hashem. Will we choose Life? Rabbi Gartner teaches us to look toward the Torah to find perspective on our inner self by asking what we can learn from the Ancient Torah of Wisdom (Chokmah). He reminds us that the ultimate good is experiencing G-dliness. We will find Hashem’s righteousness when we can truthfully ask ourselves if our heart, in its current condition, can house G-d.

Rabbi Gartner asks, “What are the influences of your Father’s House?” Our purpose is to go through our journey; trusting Hashem has given us the needed provisions, to overcome our trials and tribulations, to serve others (mitzvoth/deeds), to do good, seek forgiveness, and return to Hashem with Teshuvah. We will never taste the goodness of G-dliness if we will not allow ourselves to align with the Divinity of Hashem; having a change of heart.

We receive healing when we respect others, have a sense of belonging to family and friendships, feel safe, and have food, clothing, shelter and rest. Our life is found IN the Torah. G-d is the Giver and the doorway to Life. He separates darkness with Light (Torah) and Truth (Emet). He gives us rest, a shield, protection and a covering. He forgives our sins upon repentance; giving us opportunities to choose life in Him. He is the center and the Shechinah (Divine Presence) of the Universe. Hashem IS Compassion, Justice, Mercy, and Loving-kindness (chesed). Let’s remember that everything that comes our way, we can be certain it’s Gam zu’ l’tovah—this too is for the best.

“Hashem opened two doors–one in Shamayim (upper heavens), and one in the heart of man. When one opens his heart for the needs of his fellow man, then the corresponding door of Shamayim is opened to hear his cry.”[7]

G-d is my strength and my shield. He is my refuge. My hope is found in Him.

  • G-d is strength
  • G-d is a shield
  • G-d is refuge
  • G-d is hope

Shalom!

 

[1] Isaiah/ Yeshayah 22:22, Sefaria

[2] Isaiah/ Yeshayah 9:6, Sefaria

[3] Psalms/ Tehilliam 42:12, Sefaria

[4] https://www.jcfhartford.org/NewsEvents/ViewArticle/tabid/171/smid/619/ArticleID/62/reftab/170/Default.aspx

[5] Jewish Wisdom in Numbers, pg. 228, Osher Chaim Levene with Rabbi Yehoshua Hartman

[6] Deuteronomy/ Devarim 28:10, Sefaria

[7]  On the Shoulders of Giants, by Rabbi Shmuel Bloom, pg.115

 

 

 

Categories: Musings & Blessings | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Last Dance on Earth is Our First Dance in the Kingdom

Last Dance on Earth is Our First Dance in the Kingdom

 

When our day on this side of the life comes to a close, it’s only the beginning of Eternity. Our choice determines our eternal state. Every person from conception is given life with a spirit and two souls from Hashem that remains in us throughout our journey. We are given “free will” to manage our souls that’ll determine our walk. Every human being is given an opportunity to hear (Shema) and accept Hashem’s way in obedience, and be in covenant, or deny receiving the Torah of Truth (Emet).

Hashem desires us (heart, body, soul) to be in covenant with Him. Do we love and honor Hashem with a yearning for Him to dwell with us? On Day Six of Creation both beast and man were created. When man lives a life contrary to the will of Hashem, he is in direct rebellion, like Esau (red and hairy); running wild in the field (world). When man lives with a heart to follow Hashem in obedience, he/she is like Jacob (tent dweller). Our actions, thoughts, and behaviors determine our character and path.

“And the LORD said to Moses, “How long will this people spurn Me, and how long will they have no faith in Me despite all the signs that I have performed in their midst?” (Numbers/ Bamidbar 14:11)[1]

There comes a time in life when every person will have reflective questions such as: Is there life after death? Is there a G-d? Why am I here? How can I grow closer to G-d? Who am I? Does G-d forgive? When these questions arise, that’s when it is time to truly seek Hashem, dig into the Torah, reach out to a Rabbi, pray, and/or reach out to a friend who is a believer in Hashem for guidance and davening.

We should have the desire to reach out to others with kindness. When a person desires to learn Judaism, it’s very important to meet them where they are at on their journey. If we try to make them step to a higher level from where they are, they will stumble in frustration. That could place both parties into a hurtful situation; leaving the individual more confused with a broken vessel.

The dichotomies of the transitions tell us that we need to understand everyone learns and receives Emet and Emunah at their own pace. Learning the beautiful teachings of Judaism, the ways of Hashem, can overload one with too much light. A person’s vessel can only take in so much. We need Hashem’s Truth in our life, to be Torah Observant, but if we blind people from too much light given at once, they can’t see.

When we reach out to others, we set out with the hope and zeal they’ll come running to Hashem in Teshuvah as a child with excitement. But that’s not always the case. We must be patient. After all, Hashem is patient with us.

There are some people who are in complete rebellion, or they have been deceived; unable to “see” truth at this time. Like it or not, we are only the messengers. Hashem can reach our heart and bring us to complete Teshuvah (repentance). Good decisions are made by individuals who desire to have a change of heart. We (Israel) are called to take TORAH to the Nations with Chesed (loving kindness).

Our Father will bring us to that point in life when we question the hereafter for assurance. While my Dad and Grandmother (Nana) were alive, they began to question their beliefs and the hereafter. Hashem knew my Nana was ready to receive Hashem’s truth. Hashem blessed our day with five and a half hours visiting with my Nana; sharing teachings from the Torah. We went to lunch and I helped with her laundry. We prayed together for Hashem’s protection, wisdom, and guidance before I left. One month later, I was reminded to call her. She was ready to make Teshuvah. The phone call was amazing with divine inspiration of healing words of Chesed. Hashem is faithful and answers prayers. Days later, she took a bad fall, dementia set in quickly from the brain swelling. During the last four months of her journey she was no longer bitter, her heart had softened. She died at the age of ninety-seven years.

Baruch Hashem! Hashem sent me to her during her last days of life; giving her an opportunity to have a change of heart. It is an honor, as well as humbling Hashem chose me to help her overcome areas that needed healing. Her Neshamah was crying out for compassion, restoration,  and healing. It was a beautiful moment in time for a grandmother and her granddaughter to spend precious time together, sharing inspiring words of Hashem. May her name be a blessing and cherished. Although I believe her spirit is in Hashem’s tender care, there are days I miss her. I sometimes wonder how our relationship would have been had she known she was truly a Jewish woman. It’s a lonely thought…

Years later after the passing of my Nana, my Dad’s health took a turn for the worst. The loss of weight was assumed to be related to diabetes. A short time later, tests confirmed colon cancer. In the beginning of his journey there were high hopes for cancer removal after chemotherapy, providing the tumor would be small enough. His walk in this “wilderness” was very hard on him, my Mom, and family. Family gatherings and camping stopped. It was too hard on him. He loved to see his family, grandchildren especially.

Cancer has a way to cut into people’s lives, an enemy who destroys. The loss of hair was expected, but the days of exhaustion left him no energy to make it through the day without sleeping. He was always cold, even during summertime– a coat, hat, and gloves were worn.

Going into his third year of cancer treatments, my Dad began to feel stronger, had more energy, his appetite returned, and overall, happiness. The doctors changed his chemotherapy to tablets; allowing his hair to grow in. I received a call. It was my Mom. They wanted to come over so that I could take a photo of my Dad and text it to my sister. He was glowing with happiness– telling me he could beat it. The blood counts on the labs were amazing!

Everything changed a month or two later. The numbers increased. The cancer spread to his lymph nodes and liver. Sadly, paracentesis treatment became weekly to remove fluid from his abdomen and legs. A walker was soon needed. His health was failing quickly. One day, he lost his balance while using his walker and fell. My daughter and I arrived within minutes after my Mom called for help. Moving the walker aside, I reached for his hand, his eyes looked into mine as he extended his hand. At that moment I saw a deep sadness in the eyes of a humbled man in despair who was lost and scared. His Neshamah was crying out for healing, truth, understanding, and security! Uncertainty of eternal life was finally acknowledged. There are three things people fear in life: loss of dignity, loneliness, and eternal life.

My Dad began to question things about G-d and the hereafter when cancer was taking much of his life. The cancer was taking my father’s life at maximum speed. Time was running out. My heart was breaking. His last days were mostly unresponsive, sleeping. I continued to ask Hashem that while my Dad slept, the Shechinah would reach him in the deepest depths of his heart and soul, where no man could reach. I asked Hashem to open his ears only to truth, and to remain closed to lies.

The days were coming to an end. Hashem made a way for a friend to visit. When Elon arrived, my Dad was in a deep sleep, unresponsive. Elon began to sing about Teshuvah, an older song written by a man of Jewish decent. My Dad’s eyes immediately opened. His eyes looked directly at Elon. He wanted to stand up next to Elon while he continued to sing about Teshuvah. My Dad kept his eyes on him. He became tired, but he stood up until he could stand no longer. Elon gently lifted up my frail father, placing him back into bed. Elon called me with the Good Report regarding my Dad’s miraculous response. My father passed on the following day. May his name always be a blessing–Dad, I miss you so much!

He heard (Shema) a song of repentance the seventh of April of 2016 (seven means completeness); he passed away on the eighth (eight means New Beginnings)! B”H! Hashem is faithful to His promises.

My Dad was a man of hard work. He desired to remain active during his days battling cancer. Retired as a self-employed business owner, refinishing furniture (specialized in antiques), he learned different crafts to keep busy such as: hook rug, making bird houses, and knifty- knitting. While battling cancer courageously, in pain, suffering horrible side effects of chemotherapy, his love for others shined brightly. During chemotherapy appointments, opportunities were given to make unconditional friendships. It was important for him to meet others suffering from cancer; giving them kind words of support.

He made hats and matching scarves with the knifty-knitter; sporting many colors and stripes to brighten up the lives of others. He also wanted them to stay warm. After he passed away, his gift of giving didn’t stop. The Cancer Center contacted the News station to do news a segment; showcasing his beautifully knitted hats and scarves. And they did! What an honor!

These incredible stories were shared as a wonderful reminder that everything happens in Hashem’s timing. We are to spread Hashem’s Light to others, to take the Torah out to the Nations, as well to anyone with an ear to hear. There will be times of rejection, but we need to keep shining His Light with loving kindness. It’s important to remember it’s not the messenger they are rejecting. Sometimes the Light is too much for them at that time. Hashem will bring messengers to the ones who desire to receive Emet—even if it’s in their last days.

Do you remember when I mentioned we all have “Esau’s” and “Jacob’s” in us? When we become fearful and prideful, we are rebelling (rejecting) G-d’s will. When we become obedient to His will, we are like Jacob. Hashem is faithful and loves us.

But if you search there for the LORD your G-d, you will find Him, if only you seek Him with all your heart and soul— when you are in distress because all these things have befallen you and, in the end, return to the LORD your G-d and obey Him. For the LORD your G-d is a compassionate G-d: He will not fail you nor will He let you perish; He will not forget the covenant which He made on oath with your fathers.” (Deuteronomy/ Devarim 4:29-31)[2]

How will we dance on this side of life? Hashem wants to be in covenant with us. Choosing Life in Torah is our dance with Hashem, our King in Eternity. Choose Life! Rejoice!

 “We set our hope on the LORD, He is our help and shield; in Him our hearts rejoice, for in His holy name we trust. May we enjoy, O LORD, Your faithful care, as we have put our hope in You.” (Psalms/ Tehillim 33:20-22)[3]

 Shalom!

 

[1] Numbers/ Bamidbar 14:11, Sefaria

[2] Deuteronomy/ Devarim 4:29-31, Sefaria

[3] Psalms/ Tehillim 33:20-22, Sefaria

Categories: Musings & Blessings | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.

<span>%d</span> bloggers like this: